It is not what happens to you, but how you respond internally to what happens to you, that determines your thoughts and feelings, mind power, and, ultimately, your actions. By controlling your inner dialogue, or “self-talk,” you can begin to assert control over every other dimension of your life.
Some people are Romantics by nature and let their hearts dictate their actions, disregarding their heads and others are more logical, maybe even cynical relying on their "knowledge", disregarding their gut feelings and moving forward with what seems to be a "given". Whichever way we as human beings go, there seems to be a never ending battle between what we feel and what we think.
So it has been with me lately. As my life was once again turned upside down, I immediately reverted back to the "logical" and, I'm not proud to say, maybe even cynical side of myself. Self-doubt has found its way back into my head and, at times, all of the wisdom and previous lessons-learned seemed to had flown out the window leaving me left with nothing but angst and despair.
Thank goodness for time! As these few days have passed, I have been blessed with the opportunity to really do some deep soul-searching and reflection. All of the things I have shared with others in the past who are in my same position came flooding back to me creating confusion in my mind. I have shared my story and even shared the lessons and epiphanies I thought I had internalized and woven into the fabric of my very being...or so I thought.
It's interesting how things are tested when life seems to fall apart. Your head can anticipate hurt that your heart would never suspect. Your heart can hope for beauty that your head could never even imagine. The trick is to listen to both. Your heart can be dangerously naieve and your head can be dangerously cynical. You’ve got to balance what makes sense with what feels right.
How do you do this?? I am working on it and taking each day one day at a time. Sounds trite, but it's the only way I know of to "muddle" through the junk in my head and find the answers in my heart. I know they are there.
So let me just take this opportunity to say that I am surrounded by amazing people in my life. I have wonderful, supportive daughters who show their love and support daily. They are living their lives and doing the very best they can making me a proud mama. They care and they are honest with me...not always an easy thing...I have an awesome husband who is always there for me and is unconditional in his love, not only for me but for my childrens as well. I have fabulous parents, friends, neighbors and church leaders. I am blessed beyond measure!
Thank you for the kind words and prayers that many of you have sent my way. They have great value and are precious to me. I take the sweet words of counsel and advice very seriously because I truly believe that one of our "missions" in life is to gather up our "brothers & sisters" and share our lives with each other. We all have trials and we all have challenges that seem insurmountable at times. I can attest to the fact that support from those around me is what has sustained me during some of my darkest hours.
And finally, I would be extremely ungrateul if I neglected to mention the grace of the Lord in my life. During the past few days of frustration, confusion and at times pain and great saddness, He and He alone has held me up. I am reminded of one of my very favorite scriptures found in Isaiah:
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed: for I am God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
And let me just end with a thought that was sent to me in an email...I don't know who said this; I don't even remember who sent it to me but it resonnated with me and has sent comfort my way...
"May You Always Feel Loved”
May you find serenity & tranquility in a world you may not always understand..
May the pain you have known and conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage & optimism..
Always know that there are those whose love & understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone..
May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace..
May a kind word, a reassuring touch, a warm smile..be yours every day of your life, & may you give these gifts as well as recieve them..
Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending..
Teach love to those who know hate & let that love embrace you as you go into the world..
May the teaching of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them..remember, those whose lives you have touched & who have touched yours are always a part of you..even if the encounters were less than you would have wished..it is the content of the encounter that is more important than its form..
May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in our heart..
Find time each day to see the beauty & love in the world around you..
Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way..what you may feel you lack in one regard may be more than compensated for in another..what you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future..
May you see your future as one filled with promise & possibility..learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience..
May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, & not be dependent on anothers judgement of your accomplishments..
May you always feel loved.