About Passion

I am always a little in awe of people who have a real passion for something specific. Both my mother and my brother are two of those blessed people, or maybe "gifted" is a better word. My mother is highly gifted, talented and passionate with her music. She has played the violin her entire life, talks about it constantly, relates every "life lesson" to music and is actively involved at the age of 80 in playing her violin in the Utah Symphony on a regular basis.

My older brother, Mark is passionate for Aviation. He is a pilot for United Airlines and not just any pilot, he is a B-777 Captain who flies from LAX to Tokyo to Singapore to Tokyo to LAX. He has loved flying for as long as I can remember and I always knew he would be a pilot...always! He too eats, drinks and breathes flying.

So where does this type of passion come from? I don't think I have ever been as passionate as they are about ANYTHING! Don't get me wrong, I love music, flying, art, golf, family, grandchildren and the list goes on and on...but to be so completely enthralled in something for so many years is foreign to me. I believe it becomes a significant part of who you are!

I guess you could say that I am envious of people who possess that kind of passion. I heard a young man once say that he never felt passionate about anything! He had searched and searched his adult life for something to feel passionate about to no avail. He turned to drugs, alcohol and women. Of course, that led to an empty life so after years of struggle, he was able to become clean and sober. He even gave up his womanizing ways. What he found, when he cleaned up and could think clearly, was that he was still empty! His story went on, and the bottom line was that he realized that he had to turn to God.

My son has struggled for 9 years with drugs and alcohol to varying degrees. He has been clean from drugs for several months now and as of today, he is 25 days sober. That doesn't seem like much, but it's HUGE as compared to the past 9 years of daily indulgences. He has stated numerous times that he is "confused". When I spoke to him lsat week and asked him about his confusion, he told me that now that he is clean AND sober, that he is confused as to what direction to take. It's been a long time since he has been able to have a clear mind and he's not real sure how to handle that because it's so foreign to him! He is heavily involved in CA, HA and now AA. This is helping but he is confused because he now has to find himself and THAT is something he has never had to do in the past!

I know that he will find his way, wherever that may be. He will one day figure out that he must find that "higher power" (a term I really don't like) and that "higher power" is simply God! He will come to realize that the fullness of life cannot be realized until he surrenders his will to the Lord's. I have faith in him that it will happen. He was raised with faith and he was taught about God and Jesus Christ. He went to church and he was taught right from wrong.

So passion comes in different forms. I ADORE my family...every last one of them! Maybe I don't need to be passionate about music or flying...maybe I just need to recognize that my talents and abilities are very different from those of my mother and brother. I will probably never experience the intense drive for something like they have..and maybe that's O.K.

The Beach

Living in the mountains, most of my grandchildren have never seen the ocean. My grandson, Anthony, has been on a cruise with his parents and has played on the beach, but he was quite young (maybe 2??) and probably doesn't remember too well. Alakina saw the beach when she too was about 2 years old with no memories except for pictures. My other 3 *Littles* have never seen the ocean...until last week.

After our 2 days at the Magic Kingdom, Aja wanted to make sure her kids saw a REAL beach. We live between two beautiful lakes with "beaches" so to speak, and they get so excited each time we pass them on our way down the canyon, but what they saw in California was more than they could have inagined!

We decided that Newport Beach was the closest to where we were staying and we headed out one morning. It was a bit windy and the temp was about 70° F which can be a bit chilly with the wind off the ocean. But it didn't stop us. The girls were SO excited and were out of the car almost before we came to a complete stop! They ran to the sand and we quickly marked our beach territory with our towels and blankets. They LOVED every second of it!

   

I have never seen a kid eat so much sand in my life as Tage did! And he didn't stop! He took handfuls and poured it over his head, on the blankets and in the food. It was everywhere and he didn't care. He was enthralled with the seagulls and chased them unmercifully! The girls quickly started making their sandcastles and collecting shells.

Aja and Ryan took them to the waters edge thinking that since the water was so cold (all of the surfers had wetsuits on) that they would put their toes in but that would be it...Uh, no...Alakina wanted to go all the way in. She had no fear and didn't worry about the water temp in the least!

of course, they had to bury their dad!

It totally took me back to when we used to take our kids to San Diego with their cousins. They would play so hard and collected so many shells. Sand was always everywhere and my nephew was always chasing the birds...it was complete Deju Vu for me! Such sweet memories of great times with my own children.

Happy Birthday, Alakina!

This little girls turned 5 today! She is my first grandchild and she was my 50th birthday present (born the day after my birthday). She said to me today, "Nana, I'm done with 4"!

She is outgoing, extremely friendly, very popular with her friends, passionate about life, loving and smart. We are good buddies and I love her with all my heart.

She had a rough start in this world, coming way too early and spending several weeks in the NICU, but she is a fighter and is strong now.

Happy Birthday, Alakina...

Can't We All Just Play Nice...??

While we were in California last week, I had an interesting experience. We were waiting for our shuttle from Disneyland back to our hotel. This is a big area and there are lots of people waiting at an assigned shuttle-stop..it's brilliance, to say the least. Anyway, as we were waiting for our shuttle to arrive, I could hear someone screaming profanities behind me. I turned to see a woman with 4 small children (probably ages 5 on down) and one teenager probably about 14 or 15.

The language she was using was pretty raunchy, lots of F-bombs and just about every other curse word you can imagine. It was obvious that she was incredibly angry with whomever she was speaking with on the phone. I was uncomfortable but thought that surely she would end her call soon...not so. She went on and on and even stopped to yell at her children to "Shut Up". After about 5 minutes, I walked closer to her (now remember, there are lots of people around with lots of children...after all, it is the Happiest Place on Earth, right?!?) and I said in a loud, frustrated but as kind-as-I-could voice, "Hey, please keep it down. There are children here." WELL...she put her phone in her lap, waved her finger at me and started to yell at me, whipping attitude and telling me to stay out of her "business" and that she was not in my "business" and to "go back and take care of my family".

This set me off! I stood my ground and again said, "Just keep it down, I don't care who you're talking to or what you're saying, just please stop screaming and talk quietly" reminding her again that there are children all around. She yelled at me some more and I reiterated again. We had about a 60 second exchange and finally she dropped her tone and spoke more quietly to finish her call.

Of course, our shuttle took FOREVER to arrive. Since she was at another stop marker, I figured she was heading somewhere else...Oh no, not so! When our shuttle arrived, she and her children made a bee-line for our bus. Aja was appalled and told me we would wait for the next shuttle. I told her "We are SO getting on this bus". This angry woman did NOT intimidate me in the least. We let them board first and then we boarded.

Now we are the only people on the bus. It seemed to take forever to arrive at our hotel but after several stops, we were there and OF COURSE, she was staying at our hotel! Again, we allowed them to get off first and I was the last person off the bus. I thanked the driver, I stepped off the last step of the bus and this woman walked right up to me! She touched my arm and said, "Ma'am, I apologize for getting in your face, you were right." She then proceeded to tell me that her life was falling apart and she shouldn't have been so loud and used such language. She didn't want me to think that she abused her children and she kept apologizing to me.

I told her that I was sorry her life was falling apart and that I wasn't there to judge her. I assured her that I didn't even care what she said in her personal phone conversation, it wasn't my business, but as a mother I was sure she could understand my protective nature of children including hers! (that really hit her). I also told her that I wished her well, that I wasn't a hater, that I wanted the best for her and her family. She kept apologizing to me and looked like she was about to cry. I gently touched her arm and told her that I respected her for having the courage to come up and tell me that she was sorry. We spoke for about 2 minutes and finally said good-bye. Then she said, "Thank you and God Bless You!" It was actually very touching.

I feel that we, as a society, have come to accept unacceptable behavior and often we stand back and say nothing. I have been guilty of this many many times. But I knew in my heart that her behavior was out-of-line and that I had a responsibility to my sweet grandchildren and the other innocent children around me. My heart ached for her beautiful children.

I am FAR from perfect. I share this not to boast, but to say that I came to realize that most people have a conscience. And if they have any sort of conscience, it eventually begins to work on them. To her credit, this woman had the courage to apologize and admit her errors in judgment.

Personally, I think we need to take a stand for what we know to be right. I am tired of excusing behavior that DOES affect me and my family and does "get into my business". We live in a day and age where profanities are dropped into everyday conversations. It's all around us and we tend to become complacent and just accept it as the norm. Well, it's not O.K and we don't have to take it! I don't profess to be even close to perfect and I don't expect that from anyone else. I'm not here to police others. I'm trying to "clean up my own backyard" so to speak, but I don't regret for a second confronting her. It's a beautiful world and we all need to "play nicely in the sandbox"...

Happy Birthday, Brooklyn!

With her Great-Grandma Lois
It was this precious little girl's birthday on April 10th. I didn't post about it because my computer was in the shop and then I left for my vacation. But, I wanted to take a moment to share with you this sweet *Little* granddaughter of mine.

Brooklyn Kai was born in the morning on April 10. She is now 2 years old and is a sweet little thing who gives her mommy a run for her money! She is stubborn and strong-willed. Quiet and sweet. She loves "babies" (dolls) and mostly, she ADORES blankets! and she is more serious than the others. Unfortunately, this sweet girl lives in Idaho about 4 hours from me, but I love her with all of my heart and miss her terribly.

Being Silly!
I am so glad that she is a part of our family and can't wait to see her soon! Happy (belated) Birthday, Princess!

The Happiest Place on Earth

Is it really April already? I am utterly amazed at how fast time flies and how in the blink of an eye, the day is over! Is it just me??
I realize that I have only posted once this whole month. In months past I was pretty diligent and posted several times a week...I guess I haven't had much to say and for me, that's unusual.

I will say that this past week was a blast for me! Last Sunday, I left with Aja, her husband Ryan and their 3 kids to go to Disneyland for the week. It was the first time for the *Littles* and the second time for her hubs. As a child, I went to Disneyland many times during the year since my dad had to take people there for his work. I always loved it but it became rather routine and mundane at times and I probably didn't appreciate it as much as I should have...then my kids came along and we took them usually twice a year with their cousins who lived in San Diego. Those were great times!

So to go back with a new generation was amazing! We arrived in California on a Monday afternoon and decided to take the kids (who were jumping out of their skins) to "Downtown Disney" which is between Disneyland and California Adventure. We had dinner at the "Rainforest Cafe" and the kids loved it! They were so excited to see the animated animals move around during dinner along with the "rainstorms"and thought they had died and gone to heaven...little did they know that the next day was going to blow their minds!

We arrived at the park just as it opened.

On the shuttle, ready to go!

Aja wrote her cell number on each of the kids arms with a black "sharpie" in case they got lost...Genius if you ask me! (she's not scarred, I erased the last 4 digits...)She also dressed them alike.

Aja immediately took us to Fantasyland to stand in line for Dumbo. She remembered that it was usually a long line and wanted to get it out of the way...smart girl. Mercifully, I got to sit that one out with the baby. The girls were thrilled and the adventure began...they could hardly contain themselves as they flitted from one ride to the next. The lines were unbelievably short and in fact the longest we waited was 30min...in the Dumbo and Peter Pan lines!

Peter Pan was next, then Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and Pinocchio.

Tage was in a bit of "shock and awe"...

To see the pure excitement on these *Littles* faces was worth everything. Of course, Aja had to get them "Ears"...

This was the ONLY picture of this little guy with ears on, hence the blur!

We ventured on to "Pirates of the Caribbean" which absolutely terrified Alakina! She would not face forward because the waterfalls scared her as well as the pirates, yet she LOVED "Big Thunder Mountain" which is a pretty crazy roller coaster, go figure. So when we got off of Pirates and Ali heard Stella rave about the ride, she decided she wanted to go on it again...she then loved it!

Ali terrified...

Of course the girls LOVED "It's A Small World"

See that cute little guy in Aja's arms? Well don't be fooled...Just moments after this picture was taken, he punched Mickey in the face! SERIOUSLY...it was pretty hilarious, especially when I heard Aja apologizing Mickey!! Had to be there, but trust me, it was hysterical!

The characters LOVED the girls...

Ali was crying and Goofy stopped to dry her tears...so sweet!

It was a great trip. I was TOTALLY exhausted when we got back home, but it was COMPLETELY worth it! Priceless!!

In The Meantime

Several weeks ago, one of our laptops died. It was a tragic death and it left my hubs completely lost as he tried to figure out how to fix the problem, which occurred during the middle of his work day, since I was down in the valley and not scheduled to return until later in the afternoon. Now my hubs is an amazingly smart guy, but when it comes to computers, well let's just say...maybe it's better left unsaid!

So when I got home I took a look and with my limited knowledge of computers it was obvious to me that the problem was WAY out of my league. I took it into PC Laptops (they're amazing) and it was quickly diagnosed that we needed a new hard drive...so a week later we picked it up and it was good as new. BUT, in the meantime, hubs was using my computer and decided that he liked it much better (it is faster and newer) so now I use the "older", smaller and slower one. It has been an adjustment and I even felt pretty bummed about giving up the "comfort" of my reliable PC. So I didn't post as much as I would have liked to and I didn't respond to as many emails as I should have. I was so busy waiting for things to change that I forgot to be as productive as I should have been.

Funny how comfortable we can get with an electronic device! The computer I'm using now is perfectly reliable and functional, I just don't like it as well as my other one and I feel like it's a stranger to me! It took me several weeks to finally download everything that I could possibly think of in order to make it feel comfortable again, but I still don't like it! Am I totally selfish??

In other non-related news, I slipped out of the blogging world for a time since I was undergoing the trauma of no computer, nursing a stubborn kidney stone and other such life interruptions. During this unanticipated hiatus of life, it got me thinking about how easily our routines can be interrupted by, well, Life!

I was thinking about all of the reasons that my life felt a bit unbalanced and was pretty surprised by the chaos it seemed to inflict in my life during that period. I love routine for the most part. I love to go to bed knowing what I need to do the next day. I love order and I kind of need it in order to feel accomplished. But, life doesn't always dish out order...

The kidney stone threw me for a loop. I had SO much to do that particular week and I was actually looking forward to the upcoming events in my life. BAM...Kidney Stone=Down in Bed=Lack of Order=Change of Plans=(need I really go on??)

For me it was completely frustrating to lie in bed, on a heating pad fighting incredible pain and nausea without the help of any pain pills (they make me even sicker) and completely at the mercy of my sweet husband and his help.

But as with any opposition in life, it gave me pause to reflect (in between bouts of sheer stabbing agony) about my life these past 50+ years. It has gone by in a flash! And I'm NOT KIDDING!! I realized that the majority of the life that I have actually lived was not planned out...So much of our lives are spent with the best planned out intentions, but in reality, because of the unexpected trials, challenges and circumstances that arise, we are required to adapt to change. There is so much out of our control and so much that we never planned on. I know that when I wrote the "script" for my life, I didn't include 75% or more of what has actually transpired!

The bottom line (I believe) is that we live in the Meantime. No matter what our personal script for our life is, it's the Meantime that we spend so much of our time in. What really makes our lives significant is what we do with the unplanned, unexpected moments that come our way. I guess it's equivalent to how well we think on our feet. We are constantly barraged with things that were not in the plan...Maybe that's how we will ultimately be judged by our great Creator one day...just a thought.

Lying in that bed for almost a week, I realized that laundry was done, meals were prepared, floors were vacuumed and life went on without my plans for it. People that I love stepped up and were there for me to help where needed without even being asked! All I really had to do was endure that small (but very painful) moment in time. It changed me as a person. It helped me to relax and realize that seconds, minutes and hours don't stop to wait for any of us. It is our responsibility to keep up with them and make the most of each one.

So as I prepare to fulfil the "tasks" that I have planned out for today, I hope to approach them with a new perspective. One where I will do my best and be happy for what I do accomplish. If it gets done, great...if not, I will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I lived in the meantime and made the moments significant in my life!

Erratic Weather and Patience!

The other day I went over to my daughter's house (she lives one block from me). As I was opening her gate, I noticed a few little crocus's proudly displaying their little heads! I was amazed that these little flowers finally popped through the frozen ground to stand as witnesses that Spring is really here! However, just as I start to get excited for good weather, we have yet another snow storm!

I have been hearing people around town saying things like, "I am SO over winter" or "I am so sick of this erratic weather"...I have even been caught muttering the very same things. It has really gotten me down until this morning when I read one of my favorite blogs. She posted this:

"It's a rainy, snowy, cold day here in North Carolina. After an 85 degree day a week ago, that's a tough one. But, two people within an hour this morning had a different outlook on this weather. At the Y this morning I saw a UPS man that works out every morning. I said "It's not a good week for a UPS man." He said "Why?" I replied "It's suppose to rain every day but one this week." You know what he said? "Well, we'll just dance in the rain." Then, an older man came into the office to pay his bill. I asked him how he liked this snow and cold. He said "We don't mess with God's work." You know what? They are both right. And they are good examples to me. We don't mess with God's work. But Jesus, will you bring on the sunshine? Thank you. Amen. :)"

After reading her sweet post, I quickly changed my perspective on things. I LOVE that these two people have learned to embrace things out of their control and look for the joy in it. It inspired me and it reminded me that:

1. I have NO control over the weather so it will be what it is no matter what I think or feel about it!

2. There is still beauty in all things, even rain and snow...it's finding that beauty that sometimes seems to be the challenge.

3. Just because I am "over" something, doesn't mean that the Lord is over it. Maybe I need to look for the lessons in it (I'm thinking...um, "Patience" is a good lesson...)

4. With beautiful weather one day, stormy weather the next, then back to beautiful weather, it is a reminder that that is exactly how life is! Things go good one day but can fall apart the next...as long as we endure and more importantly, survive, the good always comes back!

5. Patience is NOT easy. I can be so patient in some areas, but others, well let's just say that I am still a work in progress. I personally feel that it is a virtue that needs to be perfected in order to really become effective in one's life!

6. And finally, I am not in charge! One of my very favorite sayings is:
"Don't try to force anything. Let life be a deep let go. See God opening millions of flowers everyday without forcing the buds." ~Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

So a HUGE "Thank You" to Miss Angela from North Carolina for posting such and inspirational message and reminding me that I'm not in charge! Now I think I can muster up the strength to endure the upcoming erratic weather patterns and when the great weather hits, just maybe I'll appreciate it even more!

Boys Will Be...?

I was watching Dr. Phil a few weeks ago and saw a show about "Out of Control Teens". There was a 21 year old girl who was totally into drugs, alcohol and sex. She stated that she started all of this behavior around the age of 14. Her mother was distraught and truly feared for her daughter's life. I was heartbroken for this mother.

During Dr. Phil's interview with the daughter, several times she made the comment that "all kids experiment!" This seemed to be a valid justification for her ridiculous behavior. I was so frustrated watching that show because I truly know teens who have chosen to make wise decisions and to stay away from promiscuity, alcohol and drugs. I know kids who actually go to church every Sunday and stay for 3 hours to learn more about values. I know kids who listen to their parents and try to obey their counsel. And I know kids who strive for excellence, not only in school, but in life in general.

Here are 5 young men who are all teenagers. They range in age from 13-18. All 5 of them received their "Eagle Scout" at a Court of Honor two weeks ago. Each of them is active in their church, stay away from the temptations of substance abuse and are morally chaste. One of them has just received a mission call to serve the Lord for 2 years without dating...and he's completely excited to embark on his new journey. The other 4 boys will follow in his footsteps. I have seen each one offer unsolicited service to widows in our neighborhood who need their driveways shoveled. I've seen them sweat as they volunteer to load or unload a moving van for a family. And I have watched them work hard on each other's Eagle projects while encouraging each other to keep working. They joke, they laugh and the kid each other unmercifully, but I've also seen them fast, pray and comfort those in need. These are NOT outcasts...they are all popular and well respected by their peers. They are remarkable young men.

So I believe that ALL teens have choices and are not victims. They can choose to make a good decision or a bad decision...it's up to them. I marvel when kids cry about consequences. As parents we all try to teach our kids good values and hopefully we teach them about consequences. I can say that I had teenagers who have made great choices and sometimes they made really stupid choices but they never could use the excuse that "everyone's doing it" because they knew plenty of good kids who opted NOT to try those things. They were all taught to choose the right and let the consequence follow...sometimes they chose the "wrong" and the consequesnce was not what they wanted...sometimes they even complained that "it's not fair!"...

I am proud of these 5 boys and so honored to have been invited to their Court of Honor. I sat proud to even know them and it gave me hope in a brighter future. They are on the right path...no, they're not perfect and yes they will make mistakes, but they are moving in the right direction and I am honored to call them my friends!

Kidney Stones, Career & Japan

See that pretty little crystal up above? First of all, it has been magnified and is, in all actuality, about the size of a grain of sand...Don't be fooled. That little sucker is a most painful little demon called a K.I.D.N.E.Y S.T.O.N.E...and it is E.V.I.L...!!

I know I have been away for quite a long time...life has been so busy for me lately and on top of that, my body decided to try to pass one of those little beasts! Let me tell you, I passed one about 10 years ago, on a flight as the lead Flight Attendant...not one of my best moments...this time, it has taken me just over a week and it STILL HASN'T PASSED!! But, it is much better. My friend, Julie, told me to drink 1/2 Cup of Lemon Juice, mixed with a little water and sugar, each day in hopes that the stone begins to dissolve. I'm not sure what exactly has happened, but I do know that my pain is significantly less, almost gone. Thanks Julie!!

With that said, I spent 6 days in bed on a heating pad. I had a difficult time even reading because at times I was so naseaus from the whole ordeal. So I spent a lot of the time pondering life in general. I watched some T.V. and just tried to work through it. When all was said and done, I gained a greater compassion for people who are chronically ill. I caught a glimpse of the helpless feelings they often describe and even the fear that life might never be the same. My heart goes out to everyone who is suffering in ANY way.

On another note, my mother turned 80 on Mar 14th. She is an amazing woman who looks great, feels great is has the most positive attitude of anyone I know. She acts at least 20 years younger. She still plays Full-Time in the Utah Symphony and is a busy, active and vital woman. I can only hope that I am as healthy as she is at that age. (I'll do another post on her Birthday festivities).

Many of you know that my hubs, Brad, changed careers this past year after 34 years. It has been a challenge, but it has been the best decision he has ever made. After working so many long and tiresome hours, he is now reaping the rewards and the new company is so proud of him. He has participated in several conference calls with top Sales people where his expertise is being utilized and put to work. He has now received two promotions and even qualified for the annual Cancun trip this June! I'm so proud of him and am so happy he is with a company who appreciates his talents and abilities.

Finally, I have to comment on the events in Japan. My heart aches for the people of that ravaged country. As I look at the wreckage and devastation from the Earthquake and Tsunami, I can't even imagine where they will even begin with the clean-up. The determination of the Japanese people is an inspiration and I can only pray that they can continue to move forward with great success. God bless them all...

I pray that all of my faithful blog followers are well and happy. I have tried to catch up on all of my favorite blogs and want to say "Thank You" for keeping me company while I was sick! I know that sounds strange, but I felt like I was visiting with friends as I read all of your posts!

The blogging world is wonderful and I am so glad to know all of you in some small way...