Catching Up

As another year has passed, I look forward to, now, 359 clean, fresh, new & unlived days. Of course, none of us is guaranteed tomorrow but I am an eternal optimist and am moving forward in faith.

I have been remiss in keeping this blog up to date. To be honest, I have felt inadequate in so many ways. I have felt that nobody really cares about the goings on in my life...Shame on me! If I really sit down and contemplate the wonderful, amazing people who have come into my life, I am completely overwhelmed. I have many dear friends and family members who are true blue and loyal. I also have made some special friendships through my blog with some AMAZING women who touch my life...I want to be just like you! I look up to you and admire your ability to share your lives with strangers who turn to friends.

OK...enough of that.

As this new year has commenced, I have wanted to say, "whoa, whoa...I'm not ready...give me a bit more time"...but time waits for no one. Life moves on.

As some of you may know, I had foot surgery in November. It was a fairly routine bunion surgery, but mine was quite advanced.. The first two weeks were sheer agony for me. I am unable to take pain meds without major barfage (not sure if that's a word, but I like it). I pushed through it, found a way to take the meds with some success and endured those miserable days. I've read 10 books, just started my eleventh and watched mindless T.V. for about 2 days.

Although I have loved having time off from work, I must admit, I miss my job. I love my job and I think I'm pretty good at it. There are definite drawbacks, but more perks. I miss the interaction with my passengers. Crazy, right? I went to my doc the other day and he has cleared me to go back on Jan 31st. YAY!!

Christmas was great...low key, but great. Due to my incapacitation, I did all my shopping online (why haven't I known how fantastic online shopping is until is year??) It was wonderful! New Years was spent at home with sweet friends..again, low key, but wonderful.

Speaking of New Years, I have never been one to make resolutions. Instead, I choose one word that I use all year when making all of my decisions. A word to help me direct my life for the year. My word for 2013 is:..."BALANCE". It's the easiest word I've ever selected...the word I've needed most.

So that's about it. I still wish I could take back the last 5 days and really start the new year off with a bang, but I can't and that's OK. As "My Sweet George" (Harrison) so eloquently stated, "Life flows on, within you and without you..." Happy new year, my sweet friends...

Good Things are to Come

This morning my hubs and I drove down the canyon through foggy mist, on icy roads and frigid temps to attend church with our cute Natalie (Brad's daughter). She was asked to play the harp in Sacrament meeting and she had invited us to come hear her. She attends a Student ward (congregation) in Provo, Utah. She played beautifully and invoked the spirit of The Lord with her beautiful medley of Christmas hymns. Her father and I were so proud of her:)

The Bishop was the first speaker. He spoke of trials and shared how, many years ago he, his wife and four little girls had moved from Arizona to Provo, Utah so he could go to Law School. He spoke of how poor they were. They sold their nice car in order to eliminate a car payment and purchased an old VW "Hippie" van. All six of them lived in a tiny two bedroom house and, in fact, they had one more daughter, while there, to add to the bunch! He shared that they had been SO poor that they all lived on potatoes, rice, carrots, oatmeal and whatever they could grow in their garden. They even tromped out into the snow and dug into the frozen earth scavenging for any left over potato, beet or carrot in order to just survive.

Then he told us that those are some of their HAPPIEST times and memories!

His message was clear and simple...happiness can be found under any circumstances. It's up to us and if we trust in the Lord, we can find joy in the midst of poverty, ill health and any other trial we may be experiencing. Then he said something that seared into my brain (an "Aha Moment"). He said:
"Trust God and believe that good things are to come..." 

I have always believed in God. I have tried to trust Him in all things but today, I realized that in order to REALLY trust in God you DO have to believe that good things are to come! That is where I have fallen short...

I'm reminded of a few of my heroes. The first in Viktor Frankl, author of "Man's Search for Meaning" which is his account of his incarceration in a Nazi concentration camp. As a Jew, death was certain for him. At one time he had contemplated suicide, like so many others, but his religious upbringing and moral foundation kept him from following through with those thoughts. He found ways to find happiness, joy and even peace, ultimately helping others in the camp and becoming one of the most inspirational holocaust survivors ever.

Corrie ten Boom, author of "The Hiding Place". She was not Jewish, but she and her family hid as many Jews as they possibly could, saved numerous lives as a result, but she and her sister were arrested and severely punished and banished to a Nazi camp as well. They were God-loving Christians who studied the bible throughout their lives. In the bible, The Lord says to be thankful for ALL things. She shares an account of having to sleep in a corner of the camp with her sister and a few other women, on damp hay which was infested with lice...During a particularly down moment, her sister told her to offer thanks to God for the lice...when she questioned her sister as to how in the world one could be thankful for L.I.C.E. her sister reminded her that God has told us to be thankful for ALL things and because of the lice the guards left the women in that corner alone thus giving them the opportunity to hold bible study classes which gave them immeasurable strength.

I admit, I'm not to that point, but I want to get there. Life is always going to offer challenges and trials. That's a given. I can only pray that I will always Trust in God and KNOW that good things are to come...

Alakina & Stella's Charity Event

In the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, two of my little granddaughters were greatly disturbed. They both were saddened by the bleak scenes of total devastation and expressed their interest in trying to help the children in New York and New Jersey.

Aja, their mother (my daughter) is one of these people who sits on three committees in our town and is actively involved with her kids schools as a room mother and in the PTA. As a single mother, she lives on a very limited income, spends no money on herself but ensures that her precious children are engaged in Dance classes, Violin, Gymnastics and various sports. She has no time to herself and on top of everything, she is a full-time student!

She told me of an idea she had. Just one week after the hurricane, she spent over 3 hours on the phone back East trying to find any organization that she and her children could help as a result of this terrible event. Finally, she found a school in Brooklyn, the Red Hook District, that was devastated. In fact, the morning she got ahold of an office worker at the school, she was told that they had just gotten their power back on only moments before her call. She told the lady that she spoke with that her girls wanted to hold a charity event and raise something that the effected children would need and like. They came up with the idea to collect Coloring Books, Crayons and Story Books for the school. Since money really means nothing to 5 & 6 year old little girls, this was a perfect solution.

So Aja got to work. She set the date of Dec. 5th to host an Open House from 3-6 PM at her home  where children in our community could come, drop off their donations and then decorate a Sugar Cookie to take home. She made flyers and her girls took them to church and their schools. Needless to say, it was a HUGE success.

Our town is AMAZING! It's very small, but has a huge heart. Everyone is service oriented and people showed up whom we didn't even know! So far they have collected 116 boxes of crayons, 74 Coloring Books, 49 Story Books, numerous Markers, Pencils, Pads of Paper and Flash Cards! She even received some cash to help with shipping!

My heart is warmed by the generosity of so many. I am so proud of my sweet daughter who didn't just "talk" about helping, she stepped up and took action! I can only imagine how excited those sweet little children in New York will  be when they receive several boxes from some precious little children far away in a little town called Midway Utah...This, my friends, is the true spirit of Christmas!

On Aging

Ya gotta love getting older!

You know, I've come to terms with the whole age thing. After all, I've had 56 years to come to grips with it. I'm OK with graying hair...I just color mine. I'm OK with a few wrinkles...I use coconut oil every morning and every night and it works pretty darn well. I'm EVEN OK with hot flashes...after 14 years of "flashing fun" I've finally gotten mine under control... BUT, what I do have a hard time with are the aches and pains that come along with getting...ugh...OLDER!!

Don't get me wrong, I don't think 56 is THAT old. After all, aren't 50's the new 30's (or something ridiculous like that?) I'm thankful that I've had the great years I've had and even the not-so-great years I've been able to endure. I just really still think of myself in my 30's but lately, my body is reminding me that I am, in fact, smack dab in the middle of my "golden years"...

I had foot surgery this past Monday morning. The surgery went very well (so I'm told) and the prognosis is great. All I asked the doctor was if I would be able to wear fabulous shoes and boots again...that, my friends, is my one great weakness...my one great addiction. Shoes make me happy...but not right now:( my Docs response was "absolutely"...followed up with an under-the-breath "job security for me!" And here's the sick thing...I'm OK with that!

So, since Monday, I've been laid up, unable to bear ANY weight on my foot. Since I HATE painkillers and don't do well on them, I'm a total SPAZZ on my crutches and have had a few wipe-outs adding to my hubs already (very distinguished) graying hair. I haven't eaten much and if it weren't for the sweet generosity of a sweet daughter and a sweet friend, we probably would be starving...guess I fell off the ward radar for meals to be brought in...oh well..

So now I'm off work until the beginning of Feb. I'm in the "healing" phase of this whole ordeal and, to be honest, I'm NOT a good patient! I am going stir crazy, I've been "Netflixed" out of my mind but I can finally read again and have finished off 2 more books in a series of 4.

So this Thankful month, I am SO thankful for skilled doctors, modern medical procedures and the promise of better days ahead.

I Am Thankful...

I am Thankful for:         

• The taxes I pay because it means that I am employed.
• The clothes that fit a little to snug because it means I have enough to eat.
• My shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.
• A lawn that has to be mowed, windows that have to be washed and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.
• The spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means that I am capable of walking.
• All the complaining that I hear about our government because it means that we have freedom of speech.
• The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear.
• The huge piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby.
• The alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I'm still alive.
• The pain I experience when I stub my toe because it means I still have feeling.

Give Peace a Chance

I don't know about you, but I am SO sick and tired of all the political ugliness that we, as a nation, have had to endure for the past few months. Wednesday cannot come soon enough for me.

Let me just say that I am VERY strong in my political beliefs. I study issues before congress, I listen to debates, I write to my elected officials. I read history books and books by good, honest and wise men who love this great country of ours and who have put their "popularity" on the line in the name of defending Liberty. I volunteer in my community and I strive everyday to live what I believe and I vote my conscience; usually, this is not popular, but, I don't care because I vote with my heart and my mind.

One of the things I love about this country is that we ALL have the right to vote for whom WE choose. Much blood has been spilt on OUR behalf by our great Founders who quite literally pledged their lives, liberty and fortunes on our behalf. I, for one, am eternally grateful for their immense sacrifices and can never fully repay them.

Never in my life have I EVER been as disgusted as I have been with the rhetoric of this election. In my humble opinion, it has been laced with ugliness, cattiness and just plain old hatred. I have seen things posted on Facebook by people whom I once respected, that is hateful and disrespectful. We are so polarized as a nation. How can we ever heal from this? On Wednesday, what is the tone of Facebook going to be? Are the voters of the "Loser" going to cry foul? Are the "winners" going to gloat? I for one am going to move forward and continur to fight the battle for Freedom and Libery. I'm going to love my friends regardless of who becomes our next president.

Our nation is in desperate need of some major healing. Name calling, mud slinging, bullying should NEVER be tolerated and we have allowed, participated and stooped to an all-time low (in my humble opinion). I know people who de-friend people because of political posts. How pathetic!

What's really interesting to me is that the majority of these slams are not even accurate. I grew up in the entertainment industry surrounded by the media and I know how things can be spun.

So, my sweet friends, I do not agree with all of your beliefs and you do not agree with all of mine and THAT'S OK!! I still love you and I still value our friendships. Come what may on Wednesday...but let's get rid of this ugliness and work together to help restore our freedoms and liberties. Let's take care of our brothers and sisters who are struggling, whether it's from the effects of Hurricane Sandy, a broken economy, or just struggling with the challenges of everyday life. Let's reach out and extend the hand of compassion. And most importantly, let's clean up our own backyards and stop with the critisizing, judgments and accusations. All I am saying is "Give Peace A Chance."

Peace, Love and God bless us all...

A Birthday Weekend

Tis the season...for the dreaded head cold!

I came home last Friday morning filled with absolute joy and excitement of enjoying 4 fun-filled, relaxing and yet productive days. After all, it was my hubs birthday weekend and I had BIG plans.

Alas, I was greeted by a stuffy headed, red-eyed, phlegm coughing lover boy who was more interested in sleeping than celebrating. I obliged.  Don't get me wrong, I love my hubs unconditionally and when he's sick, I hurt for him. And he was sick, I mean full-on, snot-filled, seal barking sick.

Bless his heart, he was such a trooper. He had gotten up that day, showered, and dressed all for me. I immediately put him back to bed. And so it began.

My sweet husband always has a clean house for me when I get home. Dishes are done, laundry is washed, folded and put away, floors are vacuumed and the toilet, bathtub and sinks are scrubbed. He's the BEST! All I really have to do is a bit of dusting. It makes coming home so much less stressful. I knew he was sick when I walked in to a pile of dishes in the sink and pillows and blankets strewn around the living room which was obviously used as a make-shift recovery room...

All of my Birthday plans were thwarted...

I went to work picking up and organizing my disheveled house which really only took about one hour. Hubs slept most of the day, but got up every 2 hours or so to make phone calls for work...yes, he's THE most dedicated person I know when it comes to work. Around 5:00, my sweet mother talked us into going to dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant, Tarahumara, right here in our little town. It was perfect and I think hubs even semi-enjoyed it.

OK...so my plans were put on hold. We had a quiet weekend. By Sunday, hubs felt better and we had the kids and my mom over for our family favorite meal, Chili Con Queso. It was a good day.

Fast forward to Monday...I woke up with swollen glands, a scratchy throat and a sinus headache. I have NO TIME TO BE SICK!! I HAD to go back to work today and I HAVE to fly tomorrow!!! So Monday was spent drinking copious amounts of Emer-Gen-C and swallowing thousands of mg of Vitamin D. We shall see if I was able to fend off the Beast!

Life goes on...I still got up at 4:30 AM to catch a flight to MSP. I was miserable, but I survived. I drugged myself up on prescription cough syrup with codeine and struggled to maintain any semblance of normalcy so the poor sap who would get stuck sitting by me wouldn't shoot me daggers for sharing the evil germs of influenza...I got lucky...I got a whole row to myself!

And so it goes...life didn't rest for me. Flights still went out on time and when I fly tomorrow, I'll smile and greet everyone with my deep, rich phone sex voice...I'll enjoy it, even if it's only temporary;))

Perks of the Job

There are obvious perks to my job as a Flight Attendant. But there are also perks that aren't so obvious but every bit as important and wonderful.

The other day I had the priviledge of flying to Rochester, MN home of the Mayo Clinic. We stay very close to the Mayo which still leaves me in awe of such an amazing facility. Millions of people flock to the Clinic in hopes of finding cures, relief, help and hope from the expertise of some of the top notch doctors in the entire world. It's a beautful place.

The flight to Rochester from Minneapolis is only 18 minutes as it is a 78 aeronautical mile trip.The good news is that there are usually many doctors and nurses on board. The bad sad news is, there are many patients and potential patients on board. I am always on the top of my game in the event of some sort of unforseen emergency. I'll admit, it's a bit unnerving at times.

The other day, we were actually returning from Rochester. As we were boarding, I noticed a young girl with her parents. This girl was in a wheelchair, wearing a heavy coat, knit hat, mittens, scarf...you get the picture (it was about 75 degrees outside). Her skin was gray, her eyes sunken and she was clearly sick. My assumption was cancer. As she stood from her wheelchair, with help from her parents, it was evident that she was living on borrowed time.

I kept an eye on her during the flight. She sat by her adoring, doting parents and slept most of the flight.

Then, in row 1, there was another couple. This lady was also thin, frail, had gray skin, sunken eyes, almost no hair on her head and no eyebrows or eyelashes. Her adoring husband lifted her into her seat. During the flight, he held her hand, tenderly touched her sallow face and spoke sweetly to her. they told me they had been married for 57 years.

I sat on my jumpseat with these precious souls onboard. They were both fighters and they were both strong in spirit. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. They were both captivating and they both touched my heart.

As I fought the tears, I reflected on my own life. It is so easy to get caught up in our own personal battles and struggles that we often are blinded to those around us who are facing life and death situations. I can't begin to imagine the hours, days, weeks or even months of "torture" these two women have endured. My "problems" or challenges pale in comparison. While it is true that we all have our own crosses to bear, I, personally, am extremely thankful for the ones I have had to face. A sweet friend of mine said in Sunday School class yesterday something to the effect of: "There are only two things I can really control: 1. my preparation for things to come and 2. How I react to what comes."

I only hope and pray that I can find the strength that I may need to deal with whatever comes my way. How incredibly grateful I am that I have enjoyed good health, prosperity, happiness, love and much much more! I pray that God will continue to bless these unseen, often unknown heroes. I also pray that He will bless me to recognize the blessings in my life

One More Update

An amazing thing happened to me tonight.

I have posted about my son, Tyler, several times during the course of this blog. Tonight, he stopped by as we were having a little family celebration for my hubs birthday but only stayed about 5 minutes. He left abruptly and I really gave no thought to that because he is very busy going to school and juggling AA/NA meetings.

About 45 minutes later, he returned and asked to speak to me privately. In the past this would have raised my blood pressure a viewpoints. We went outside and sat on the front porch. He proceeded to apologize to me about his behavior earlier in the evening. He went on to explain to me that he wasn't upset with me, he just had a lot on his mind and was having issues with someone else. 

We spoke for about 30 minutes. He told me that he was working on his 4th step which is basically to look at everything he had ever done and take accountability for his part in each incident. He talked, I listened. He spoke clearly and rationally. He was articulate, conscise and clear.

Out of respect for him, I won't go into the details of our conversation. Let me just say that we both healed a bit tonight. We both acknowledged that we don't quite know how to be in a relationship with each other as two adults. But we both resolved to try a little bit harder and I realized that he still needs me!! He is strong and he is progressing in so many beautiful ways. 

So there's my update on my sweet boy. He's doing great but admits that everyday presents new challenges that sometimes seem too hard to confront but he now possesses the skills to deal with them. He has overcome amazing things. He has wonderful, caring people in his life who are there night and day, 24/7 for him. 

He's my hero! I've never had to overcome something as difficult as a heroin addiction. He has and that shows me that he is stronger than most of us.

I don't know who, if anyone, will read this. But that's OK. I'm one proud mama...

Life Comes At You Fast

You all probably know the commercial that says, "Life comes at you fast..."That's how my life has been since the end of June. First we had a death in the family, next my sweet little 2 1/2 yr old grandson went in for emergency brain surgery which was unsuccessful because he was beginning to slip into an irreversible coma so the surgeons, thankfully, recognized what was happening and brought him out immediately. Then finally, my daughter underwent heart surgery.

Needless to say, I have been completely exhausted...but having said that, I can see the greatness of the blessings that we have received. We made it through the tragic death that caused my children great pain and loss only to emerge stronger with each other. Little Tage is fine. We are anxious to see if he can eventually have the necessary surgery to help with his epilepsy; he has sleep apnea so his tolerance to any kind of anesthesia is extremely low. I am confident that the capable doctors will come up with a viable solution that will help this sweet little guy live a relatively normal and healthy life. And, Aja's heart surgery has been quite successful. Of course, we are waiting for the biopsy results which will hopefully tell us where the leakage is coming from, but in the meantime, she is doing so much better.

A wierd thing happened to me back on May 26th. I was staying in a hotel in Minneapolis. It was about 2 or 3AM when I was awakened by a sharp, searing pain that felt like someone had stuck a needle in the ball of my left food. I threw off the covers, saw nothing and went back to sleep brushing it off as a bad dream. I awoke in the morning to a foot that was swollen to about the size of a golf ball. It was sore and I could barely walk on it. I immediately iced it, got ready to fly that day and eventually got my shoe on.

It has now been over a month and my foot is still swollen (about half the size of a golfball) and still sore. I went to the doctor who ran a myriad of tests and x-rays thinking that possibly it was gout or arthritis...it's not...it's a bug bite...YIKES...Of course, we will never know what actually bit me, but the little critter made me sick for 3 days. I couldn't eat or sleep as the nausea was extreme and the pain was annoying. I'm much better now, but it's still sore...ugh...

It has been a VERY rough month. I am NOT sad to see June pass us by. But life does pass us by and sometimes this is a great blessing, sometimes it's a great tragedy...I find that I tend to get so caught up in the moments and events that are happening in that instant and sometimes I neglect the things that are really important.

So as things are winding down, I look back and am amazed at all that we, as a family, have endured. We got through it and we are still healthy, happy and strong. Those days have thankfully passed and hopefully, better days are ahead...but...life comes at you fast...be ready and always be thankful for all that is good because that is what has sustained us through this crazy time.

Have a wonderful summer, let the sun always shine wherever you are and may God bless you all...