Celebrate the Lives of Others

I attended a NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting last night. It was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!

My son received his 1 year chip and it is a huge deal. He has worked long and hard and has had so many bumps along his path to sobriety...but he is 1 year clean and that's all that really matters today.

My daughter Aja decided at we should all attend his meeting to show our support for this precious boy. There were 6 of us from our family who attended. I will never forget what I experienced last night.

The room was packed with addicts. There were people from all walks of life, ethnic backgrounds and ages. As we entered the room, we were immediately greeted by a young man who introduced himself and engulfed me in a heartfelt hug. From the moment I set foot in that crowded room, I felt nothing but love.

It was beautiful. Honesty abounded. There was no judgment. There were tears and there was joy. I listened with my heart as these sweet friends of my son expressed their heartfelt love for him. How proud they are of him. How he has inspired them. How he lifts them and, in some cases, how he has saved their lives. It touched me deeper than I ever could have imagined.

As mothers, we KNOW our children. I may not know the everyday goings on in my adult children's lives, but I know who they are. I know their strengths and I know their weaknesses...but so do these wonderful, nonjudgmental friends of my son.

The lights were then turned off and for a few moments, it was silent. Then, one-by-one, people began to share. "Hi, I'm ___ and I'm an addict". It was kind of sacred as these precious souls started speaking from their hearts. They all spoke of their love for Ty, offering him sincere and heartfelt congratulations. One gal said that she was so happy for him hitting this mark. And then she went on to say something to the effect of, "Where else do we celebrate the lives of others?"

That hit me!

The more you praise and celebrate life, the more there is in life to celebrate!

It seems like our world is so quick to judge. We can so easily get caught up in our own lives that we forget to celebrate the lives of those around us...everyone of these addicts/recovering addicts has a valued life! They have something precious to offer this world! Because they have made some bad choices doesn't make them bad people or any less valuable.

Do I fall prey to this?? I commit, on this blog, this day, to make a conscious effort to "Celebrate the Lives of Others..."

So to my son, I say this: Today I celebrate your life...and I will celebrate your life everyday! I respect and admire you more than you will ever know. Your ability to unconditionally love without judgments, is rare and precious. You truly celebrate life and the lives of those around you? I have learned so much from your journey and I can only hope and pray that I can be like you one day. Thank you for letting me be your mother and for putting up with all of my fears and judgments...

Painful Lessons

When I was 8 years old, I had a shiny pink stingray bike sporting a groovy banana seat, white basket with several mod colorful flowers and tassels streaming from the handlebars. I loved this bike! I rode it in the sun or the rain, it didn't matter, I was an 8 year old kid.

As is typical with kids of this age group, we had the brilliant idea to make a bicycle jump in the only vacant lot in the entire neighborhood which happened to be across the street from my house. We all contributed to the construction of our latest entertainment of the day and then took turns trying it out. Now I'm sure it was only about a foot off the ground even though it seemed to be five feet high in our young idealistic minds. But either way, we were thrilled and ready to try it out.

We all lined up and waited with eager anticipation. One after another...each excited neighborhood kid conquered the "daring" jump followed by squeals of delight and success. My turn finally came and I remember the excitement coursing through my petite body as I walked my precious bike into position and waited for the "all clear" sign. It came...I was on my way.

As I rolled down the slight hill gaining the necessary momentum for catching "big air", I saw the coveted platform getting closer and as I carefully lined up for the jump, at the last possible moment, my little sister stepped in the path. In a split second, all of my reflexes jumped into action and I veered off course, steered my stingray handlebars to the right and missed the "sweet spot" causing me to hit the edge of the jump, fly over my handle bars and skid on the pavement chin first.

I clearly remember the searing pain that immediately shot through my head. I had laid out my face on the asphalt leaving a trail of blood in my wake. Everyone ran to my side. Kids fled to find an available parent and I lay there bleeding, holding the side of my head as my chin pain immediately transferred to severe ear pain.

The rest is a bit of a blur, but I do remember being in the doctor's office getting stitched up and remember hearing him tell my mother that my wound was clear to the bone requiring internal as well as external stitches. I remember crying and I remember hurting. AND, I remember the sheer thrill of the ride!

Thirty six stitches later, I walked out of the office with a brand new scar that would last for the remainder of my life. It's a jagged, somewhat faded scar that has sparked many conversations over the years and each time I re-tell the story, the intensity of the pain returns, if only for a fleeting few moments.

Just like my accident, life is just like going off a bike jump. No matter how well you plan, things come up at the last moment that can cause us to veer off course and end up with results that are the polar opposite of our best laid plans. In a split second, things can happen and produce a completely different outcome.

Not always is the end result "painful" but it is usually unexpected and it always throws us off course. In my life, I have come to see that the majority of my best laid plans have ended up not as I had originally anticipated. Most of the time it's OK and I have learned to adapt. I have, many times, even ended up happier with the "new " result in many cases. The trick is, to hang on to the handle bars until you come to a complete stop, take the lumps and remember the consequences of the outcome so as to never repeat or endure it again.

I love the movie "The Lion King". There is a great scene where the wise shaministic baboon Rafiki is walking along with the young Simba. Suddenly Rafiki wacks Simba over the head with his walking stick to which Simba cries outs, "Ow, why did you do that?" Rafiki responds with, "Get over it, it's in the past." As they continue to walk, Rafiki takes yet another swing at Simba to which this time, Simba cleaverly ducks out of the way. Rafiki proudly tells him, "See, you've already learned!"

Like my 8 year old bicycle accident, I learned that day that life is full of unanticipated obstacles. Things come up at the last possible moment and if we aren't prepared, we will hurt. But we get over it, the pains and scars fade, but the lessons will remain and life moves on.

Am I Just Plain Crazy?!?

As I have been busy in Portland trying to find a place to live, finding the crew lounge and figuring out where to shop, eat and whatever else we need to do to survive, I have hardly had a chance to think...BUT, I have had a chance to read a few of my favorite blogs and that, my friends, has returned me to my reality...well, whatever my reality is these days...before I go on, I want to share this blog address with you. Check it out, you won't be sorry http://www.lefolauga.com/ .

Since I have undertaken this HUGE life-changing career at this late stage of my life, I have found that I have, on occasion, found myself questioning myself with expressions like, "What on earth were you thinking?" and "Seriously, did you undergo a lobotomy and just not remember the procedure?" OK, just to set the record straight, I am THRILLED to be back in this crazy industry and anxious to get things going...BUT...

A lot has happened. If not for the companionship of two sweet new friends, things would be very different for me right now. These two amazing women and I have ridden the MAX (light rail), tromped in the rain looking for shoes to work in and found a crash pad to live in. They are my sanity right now and I am ever grateful for them!

While I was in training, one of our instructors was totally into inspirational thoughts. He shared one with us from the famous German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. I was cleaning out my flight bag this morning when I ran across it...it couldn't have come at a better time:

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates a climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make a life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of fortune or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal in all situations. It is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a person humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.” ~Goethe


What more can I say?