Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Salad Dressing Moment

I'm sitting at the Oakland Airport waiting for a flight to Portland so I can go back to my base to sit Reserve tomorrow before I do my trip on Friday. It's not the most glamorous part of my job, by any means...anyway, as I am sitting here waiting, I have been thinking a lot about my sweet dad. I am absolutely amazed that he has been gone for over 3 weeks now. Time moves on so quickly sometimes and as the late great George Harrison so eloquently stated, "Life flows on within you and without you." What a whirlwind these past 22 days have been. Watching him die and sitting by his bedside day and night to having a beautiful funeral to honor his life to burying him and saying our final "goodbyes"...well, at least for now!

Anyway, I have had plenty of time to reflect and remember. After all, reflecting and remembering is all we have after we lose someone we love. I have been very calm, haven't really had a breakdown and feel an amazing amount of peace and comfort from above. I can't deny that the Comforter has been very near and has done a beautiful job in comforting my whole family.

So I have been wondering. Am I going to breakdown? My husband lost his sweet mother a few
years ago and did very well considering she was all he had for a parent. One day we were at the grocery store...he had gone to another aisle to pick up a forgotten item. When he joined
me at the checkout, he was teary. He proceeded to tell me that he had seen bottle of Catalina
Dressing and it almost brought him to his knees because his mother loved it; it was her favorite.
We have kind of chuckled about that incident, but now that I am in the same situation, I'm wondering what MY Catalina Dressing will be?? I have avoided listening to certain songs, watching cetain football games and the Western & Food channels because I know that I will
possibly lose it. Silly, I know, but I'm not sure that I am ready to face the earthly finality of his passing.

I was talking to some dear friends who have lost loved ones and asked them if I was some sort of freak because I haven't "lost it". They shared very familiar feelings and we came to agree that maybe we are "OK" because everything that could be said has been said and our respective relationships with those that we lost was in the best place possible. You see, I had a GREAT relationship with my father. Don't get me wrong, we had our differences over the years...probably because we were more alike than we realized at the time, but there was NOTHING left undone.

Along with the assurance that my sweet daddy is in a better place, free from the bonds of his broken down body, how grateful I am that he left this world knowing that I, along with his other 3 children and devoted wife, had nothing negative between us. We were all there at the end taking care of him, whispering our redundant "I Love You's" and expressing seemingly endless, "Thank You's". That is a blesssing and through the inevitable pain of loss, it serves as the most sincere kind of comfort possible.

Take time to mend broken relationships. Express your sincere love and gratitude to those you love every day. Put aside petty differences and focus on the blessings of the relationships that you have with those you love. Life is SO short. Regrets are more painful than swallowing your pride, eating a little crow and offering a humble apology. Do what you have to do, say what you have to say, but DO IT. Relationships are precious and fragile...handle them with care and do whatever you can to make things right...


Kathy Edge Davis said...

Amen and Amen!!

Kimberly said...

Hi - I found you from Kelly's Korner. I lost my Mom in September. Its not easy....and I have been avoiding certain things myself. The Christmas songs that are already playing on the radio are getting to me so I change the channel. Last night I was in the food store and I saw someone I knew - she said how is your Mom doing? I knew one day this would probably happen. Going to check out more of your posts. Nice to have found your blog.