Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Quick Update

I went to the doc for my third and (hopefully) final medical test and the results are in!!

Let me start by saying that since Aug 30th,  I have been undergoing testing for Lupus, MS and the big, ugly, Cancer. It has been a trying time for me...not understanding what has been going on with my body, trying to maintain my composure without panicking, and facing the "C" word. It's been rough, but also a great period of growth for me.


Today I received the long-awaited news...Benign polyps, no CANCER!!


I felt tremendous relief, joy and elation. As I drove home in moderate pain (from more poking & prodding), I could hardly contain my excitement. Then it hit me that  millions of people have experienced the mix of emotions that I have experienced since this journey began, only to receive dreaded news.


And my heart broke.


Why me? Why am I OK and others aren't? Why do I have a new lease on life when someone else is facing a possible death sentence? I guess it's called "Life".


So today I get to walk a lovely new path but will pray for those who must walk a frightening path and hope and pray that I will always remember and be grateful for another chance...Thank you for all of your prayers and concern.
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Saturday, September 21, 2013

Inspiration


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Thursday, September 19, 2013

Writers Block No More

Talk about WRITERS BLOCK!! I have been wanting to write in my blog, but have been so uninspired...yet, a lot of things have transpired since I last wrote...I wondered if anyone even read this thing and then realized that it really doesn't matter and I should just write for myself. I'm not even sure where I left off so let me just begin.

 My daughter, A, had her 3rd and hopefully FINAL heart surgery. It was super rough on her this time and her poor little body really struggled, but, she came through it and seems to be doing better each day. Both of her follow-up appointments have had positive outcomes with NO FLUID to be found...This is HUGE!! So we are incredibly thankful and hopeful that she can start to heal and regain her strength that has been lacking for so many years.

 All of the "Littles" are doing great. Each is growing so up so fast. Here's a quick rundown:


A
is 7 and now in 2nd grade. She is an exceptional student. She's quite the perfectionist, which worried me a bit because she is very hard on herself. She loves dance, singing and has just started taking Ballroom Dancing lessons. She has tons of friends and is still my sweet girl.

A is 6 and now in 1st grade. He is not so keen on school (kind of typical boy) but is very bright and that may just be the reason. If he's anything like his mother, he's bored to tears. He excels in sports. He loves soccer (and constantly scores goals) and now is beginning football where he has already scored a touchdown!  

S is 5 and now in Kindergarten. She also loves school and has been waiting (im)patiently to begin "real" school. She loves to dance, has started taking clogging and has been selected to train with the BYU gymnastic coaches. By the way, she's the youngest one on the team so this is quite an honor for her. Her health has been pretty good but we are gearing up for the cold winter months that usually put her in the hospital.

B is 4 and is in Preschool. She gives her mother fits and is one stubborn, strong-willed girl! Hmmmm...reminds me of her mother! She is also very smart, loves preschool, loves to dance and is sassy to the max! Good luck, Britt!! and finally,

T is 3 and is also in preschool. He is enrolled in the dual-immersion program so is learning Spanish. He is feisty and the smiliest kid I know! He is full of life, anxious to experience anything and so sweet. 

My hubs and I are doing great. I have been having some unusual health issues with no definitive answers yet. I am currently undergoing a lot of testing and hoping to get some answers next week. of course there are concerns about what this could be but I am hopeful and VERY grateful for modern medicines and procedures that help a myriad of issues that, in days past, were deemed death sentences. I know this sounds very dramatic, but it's just reality. As I have been forced to face my imminent mortality (as we all do at times) I have come to realize how incredibly blessed my life has been. I have enjoyed comforts that the majority of the world will never know. I have people who love me, an amazingly loving and faithful husband, a family who supports me and children & grandchildren that give me EVERYTHING I ever need. And really, what more do we need?

I had an experience this summer where I was mistreated by someone who is very shallow and bitter. It was painful and unfair on so many levels, but this person made me realize that the people I need to have in my life are the people who are kind-hearted, unselfish and positive to be around. The whole experience forced me to look deep inside of myself and really evaluate where I am in life. Without going into any detail, I owe this person a great debt of gratitude for helping me to clarify my blessings. They tried to hurt me but, in fact, helped me beyond belief! I am going through the forgiveness process (although they haven't asked for my forgiveness) and I have grown as a result. It is so liberating to "let go" of hurt and angry feelings and rely on what I know to be true and just. I feel sorry for them and pray for them daily. I hope it helps them, but it really has helped me the most.

Our Natalie got married on August 15th to an wonderful man named Brad. I wish them every happiness and success in the world. They are a great couple and have the entire world at their fingertips!

My job is going great. I"m based in Salt Lake City which GREATLY increases my quality of life and although I don't always get the schedule I want or the days off I need, it is a huge blessing to be able to drive to/from work without the stress of commuting to another city. The airline industry is a fickle industry with changes constantly. Maybe that's why I like it so much...its never boring!

When I first received the news that I would be undergoing extensive testing for the big "C", I felt helpless, devastated, scared and blah blah blah. A dear friend happened to stop by the house one morning. He said that as he was driving by, he felt "inspired" to stop in. My husband and I sat with him in the living room and just chatted. I was down...I felt as though I have never really done anything significant in my life. Then my sweet hubs quietly said, "can you believe that? She has no idea how much significance she has in my life..." And that made me cry... Eventually, the subject of my health came up and Brad shared with him our concerns. He listened intently and then very wisely said, "the best way for you to get through this is to go out and serve others". My first response was, "I'm never home and have to fly tomorrow for 4 days"...then it hit me...I can serve those I work with. And that's what I did. I really focused on my fellow crew members and my passengers. I gave the BEST customer service I could possibly give and made sure that I smiled at EVERYONE who boarded and thanked everyone who deplaned by looking them straight in the eye. I have to say, that was probably the BEST 4 day trip I ever had! I "forgot", even if for a few hours at a time, my problems and my fears were allayed. My joy increased and my heart was lightened. My passengers were great and when we did have an "issue" I was better equipped to handle the situation.

It really is true that when you lose yourself in others, you gain so much. My outlook is bright. I don't know what lies ahead and I may not know for a few more weeks. But I do know that I am alive and happy.

I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams and I am hopeful that things will work out as they're supposed to. I only pray that I learn the lessons that need to be learned so that I can grow into someone who can help others. If any of my loyal readers are still out there, thank you for staying around. If not, that's OK too.