Sunday, April 29, 2012
First of all, let me start by saying that I couldn't be more proud of him right now! He has overcome obstacles that I'm not even sure I could have overcome. He has fought hard for his sobriety and is honored to call himself clean after almost 8 long years of fighting a hideous heroin addiction. He is a remarkable young man and I love him with all of my heart! Now, having said that, he still has a ways to go and he reminds us all that everyday is a new day and a day to start the healing process over again.
I LOVE that! "Today is a new day and a day to start the healing process over again..."
What a lesson for us all...We all have battles that we are fighting. We all have challenges and we all have temptations. Maybe we are all addicts in one way or another. Are we addicted to food, a certain diet soda; something tangible or maybe it's bigger than that...are we addicted to an intangible like jealousy, pain or even anger? Do we even know what it is we are addicted to? I have taken a few months of quiet reflection and really tried to take inventory of my life. I have realized that I, like my son, have much to heal over. Now don't get me wrong...I am a very blessed woman and I have had a very charmed life in many ways, but I have also experienced pain and consternation, doubts and fears.
When I first started back to work after 7 glorious years of NOT working, I was thrown into a tailspin (no pun intented!) I was in intense training for 4 weeks away from my loved ones, I was sent to Portland and lived in a crash pad, never flew but had to be there, and then I made the decision to transfer to Minneapolis and struggle with a very challenging commute. I joke with my hubs and ask him, "Aren't these supposed to be my Golden Years??"
I was miserable for the first few months of flying...I LOVE the job, but my circumstances were out of balance with my life. I was literally just existing and I completely forgot to LIVE. Then it became easier to accept my miserable circumstances as the norm...I was a mess and didn't even realize it.
On December 16, 2011, I was injured on a flight and had to take a month and a half off work to try to heal with intensive Physical Therapy. My back is still not 100%, but I know what I need to do and it's a work in progress...anyway...that injury turned out to be a gigantic blessing in my life. I had the precious gift of "TIME" dropped right in my lap. At first I was a fish out of water. But I took that time to evaluate the direction my life was taking and I hated what I was seeing. Again, I loved my job (still do) but hated the circumstances. I came to realize that my transfer request to Salt Lake City was not going to happen any time soon so I had only 3 choices: Go back to Portland and be miserable, Quit , or Transfer to another base where I would fly and NOT be on Reserve (where I'm at their beckon call...ugh...)
I took the challenge and put in my transfer request to Minneapolis. I returned to work (in Portland) on January 27th, and received a call that very morning telling me that my transfer request had been granted and could I be there IMMEDIATELY???? YES, YES, YES!!
I am a very happy camper. I love my new base. I hold a line, which in the airline industy equates to freedom! I know in advance what my trips are and they are all commutable from SLC. I fly in to "Minny", start my trip that day, finish my trip and fly home the day I finish. In the 3 months that I have been based there, I have only had to pay for a hotel once...I had an early morning report time so I flew in the night before...hubs went with me...$50 out the door! What a HUGE blessing.
So I realized that I allowed myself to become a victim of circumstance. When I took that leap of faith, my life changed drastically and I was/am thrilled with the new circumstances I have. I still have my transfer request in for SLC, but in the meantime, I'm doing great.
Now, back to Ty...
He came over to the house the other day (I was off flying) and he talked with my hubs. He told him that he was going away for 30 days and that it was OK. Apparently, his probation officer petitioned the court to release him from his probation and allow him to pay a $500. fine and be done with all of this. His P.O. has seen the mighty change in this sweet boy's heart. He sees firsthand that he attends either AA or NA meetings every night, he has held a good paying job for over 6 months, he is attending college at his own expense and he has passed every single drug test and alcohol test administered to him. He is rehabilitating back into society very nicely and is becoming the responsible young man that he should have been many years ago. In his P.O's mind, he had paid his debt to society and is a true success story...NOT SO FAST...
The judge said "NO"...he decided that Tyler needs to go to jail for 30 days to "pay his debt to society for a charge he had one year ago!!" Are you kidding me????
In my humble opinion, this contradicts exactly what the "system" says they are trying to achieve. BUT, my sweet boy is O.K. with this. He told my hubs that he felt like maybe there is someone in there that needs his help and that maybe even, he will meet someone who will help him! He quit 2 more addictions recently, chewing (yuck) and smoking and has struggled with temptations to start up again. He looks as his 30 day stint in the joint as a 30 day rehab for his smoking/chewing addiction because he won't be able to do it inside. He has made plans to read, work out and try to find someone whom he can inspire to clean up their lives and attend meetings like he does.
I am in tears as I write this because the change in this sweet boy has been a true miracle! He is taking accountability for his actions of a year ago and he is demonstrating responsibility. He has paid ahead on his bills and he talked to his boss who assured him that he would have his job waiting when he got back and that they would sorely miss him! He has a HUGE support system with his friends who are all in active recovery. They are all supportive and encouraging to him and have promised to write to him and they will be there for him when he gets back...
Blessing?? Maybe...probably....I know that my son is on his road to recovery. I will continue to pray for him and even for the judge that he will soften his heart...but whatever happens, I want it to be the right thing for Ty.
"Let go and Let God". That's a big AA thing...I never really got it until now...now that my son has "Let go and Let God"...I'm one proud Mama...