Monday, April 25, 2011

About Passion

I am always a little in awe of people who have a real passion for something specific. Both my mother and my brother are two of those blessed people, or maybe "gifted" is a better word. My mother is highly gifted, talented and passionate with her music. She has played the violin her entire life, talks about it constantly, relates every "life lesson" to music and is actively involved at the age of 80 in playing her violin in the Utah Symphony on a regular basis.

My older brother, Mark is passionate for Aviation. He is a pilot for United Airlines and not just any pilot, he is a B-777 Captain who flies from LAX to Tokyo to Singapore to Tokyo to LAX. He has loved flying for as long as I can remember and I always knew he would be a pilot...always! He too eats, drinks and breathes flying.

So where does this type of passion come from? I don't think I have ever been as passionate as they are about ANYTHING! Don't get me wrong, I love music, flying, art, golf, family, grandchildren and the list goes on and on...but to be so completely enthralled in something for so many years is foreign to me. I believe it becomes a significant part of who you are!

I guess you could say that I am envious of people who possess that kind of passion. I heard a young man once say that he never felt passionate about anything! He had searched and searched his adult life for something to feel passionate about to no avail. He turned to drugs, alcohol and women. Of course, that led to an empty life so after years of struggle, he was able to become clean and sober. He even gave up his womanizing ways. What he found, when he cleaned up and could think clearly, was that he was still empty! His story went on, and the bottom line was that he realized that he had to turn to God.

My son has struggled for 9 years with drugs and alcohol to varying degrees. He has been clean from drugs for several months now and as of today, he is 25 days sober. That doesn't seem like much, but it's HUGE as compared to the past 9 years of daily indulgences. He has stated numerous times that he is "confused". When I spoke to him lsat week and asked him about his confusion, he told me that now that he is clean AND sober, that he is confused as to what direction to take. It's been a long time since he has been able to have a clear mind and he's not real sure how to handle that because it's so foreign to him! He is heavily involved in CA, HA and now AA. This is helping but he is confused because he now has to find himself and THAT is something he has never had to do in the past!

I know that he will find his way, wherever that may be. He will one day figure out that he must find that "higher power" (a term I really don't like) and that "higher power" is simply God! He will come to realize that the fullness of life cannot be realized until he surrenders his will to the Lord's. I have faith in him that it will happen. He was raised with faith and he was taught about God and Jesus Christ. He went to church and he was taught right from wrong.

So passion comes in different forms. I ADORE my family...every last one of them! Maybe I don't need to be passionate about music or flying...maybe I just need to recognize that my talents and abilities are very different from those of my mother and brother. I will probably never experience the intense drive for something like they have..and maybe that's O.K.

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