I so wish I could update on my sweet boy with a truly positive post. I have in the past and hope to again in the future. But, sadly, this isn't one of those posts.
Saturday morning at precisely 1:47 AM, I was awakened by my phone ringing. I was in a very deep sleep and when I heard the voice on the other end, I was snapped into reality real quick. It was a recording telling me that I had a call from an inmate, then I heard Tyler say his name. My heart dropped.
I tried to remain calm. I said hello, asked him what happened and he proceeded to tell me that he was pulled over earlier that night and arrested because his license had been suspended and he had "paraphernalia" in his car...
One thing about a drug addict is that when they tell you something, 99% of the time they are lying or at the very least, they are not telling you the WHOLE truth. So we spoke a few minutes. He gave me the phone number to a bail bondsman and said to call them in the morning because his bail would only be $28.00 !!
With the experience I've had with Ty, I called the jail instead and asked what his charges were. I was told that it was: Paraphernalia which is a misdemeanor and...wait for it...Possession! which is a 2nd class Felony. No, his bail was not $28.00 (that only applied to the paraphernalia) and in fact, there was NO BAIL until Monday morning (this morning) when a judge would decide what it should be.
So yes, he lied to me...again! At least I knew it and made the call. So I had to wait for him to call me back since I couldn't call him. He finally did on Sat. night and I explained to him that he was there for the weekend. I informed him of his charges (he just sighed) and his explanation was that he and a "buddy" were driving downtown, a cop flipped a U-turn and followed him for a few miles. He was pulled over and the cop informed him that his car wasn't properly registered. He pulled out his registration (which according to him was valid) and the cop saw tin foil with residue of heroin. So he was arrested and brought into jail.
I asked him if he was high to which he immediately fessed up and said "yes" and I asked him how long he had been using to which he replied, "2 weeks".
So, there you have it. I now have a son in jail awaiting a bail hearing and I have informed him that I will NOT bail him out. I seriously want to SCREAM...
Yesterday we had a most inspiring Sacrament meeting at church. The first young man (19 years old) is just leaving to serve the Lord for a two year mission. This means that he will be away from his family, NO dating, 24/7 service and complete devotion to the people of his mission. He spoke of the reasons he was going on a mission and had us all laughing and crying at the same time. He talked about his preparation all of his life to embark on this amazing journey he is about to take and that he knew that he was immature, needed to grow up and was ready to submit his will to the Lord's so that he could become a successful missionary. It was beautiful...
The next young man (21 years old) had just returned from his 2 year mission and spoke of his experiences while he was gone. His testimony of faith, prayer, service and love for the Savior was completely awe inspiring. He shared uplifting stories of some of the people he met and served while he was away and his great love for all he came to know. When he was finishing his talk, I watched as he choked up with emotion because the love in his heart for the Lord was almost more than he could contain. He so eloquently expressed his great love and appreciation for the atonement and the humility in his words was overwhelming. I sobbed!
My heart swelled with joy for the mothers of these two fine young men who have made choices in their lives that have led them to great experiences and gave/will give, them each two of the best years of their lives. They are good boys who don't smoke, drink, do drugs. They abstain from sex and strive for excellence. I am so proud of both of them and know that they are each destined for greatness as they continue to walk down the path of righteousness.
Then my thoughts turned 180° and I saw my sweet, troubled boy sitting in a cold cement jail cell with his head down turned and completely distraught. My heart ached and the tears came. I almost had to get up and leave because the pain was so great in my heart.
The contrast between these young men is staggering and it all boils down to CHOICE. My son made ONE choice that started him on this dark and destructive path to slavery and devastation. Now the consequences are almost too much for him to pay. The other two boys made a series of great choices that have led them both down a path that can ultimately lead them to eternal happiness if they continue to make decisions in the same vein.
I will never give up on my son. I adore him and love him more than I can begin to express. But the disappointment that I feel is bigger than I ever imagined. The heartache and pain that he has caused our family seems unsurmountable at times...but we are strong and we will continue to endure.