Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Brittany, just moments after giving birth to Brooklyn...
One of my favorite "rituals" each morning is to read a few of my favorite blogs. The women behind these blogs are amazing and never cease to fill me with inspiration that sometimes sustains me through the entire day. This morning I went to one of my favorite blogs and was inspired to write a few of my thoughts on the subject of motherhood as well.
2 of my beautiful daughters, Aja & Natalie...
I too feel so overwhelmed at times with the whole motherhood thing...and I'm an empty nester!! Yes, it's really true! Sorry to be the one to inform you that the worries of motherhood never go away, they just morph into something that is usually unexpected.

My beautiful Britt...
It's no secret that my son is a recovering heroin addict. I say recovering, but I'm not even really sure anymore. I have little contact with him and struggle to relate to him in any miniscule way. Don't get me wrong, I love and adore him, but I have built some sort of fortress around my heart and it's so difficult to break that down. Having said that, I do pray for this sweet boy. I think of him often. I used to think of him every waking moment but that almost killed me (literally) so I learned to push him out of my mind and go about my everyday life...without him. It was heartbreaking, but necessary. He consumed me. He broke my heart over and over and over. I was sick with worry and was quickly becoming disfunctional. That was then...this is now. Now I have conditioned myself to not "obsess" over him.
My sweet boy, Ty on my wedding day...
I was raised to believe that Motherhood is the most important calling/job you can possibly do...and I believe that! I was raised to believe that you sacrifice EVERYTHING and then some for your children. I was raised to believe that the payoff would be worth it. So this is what I have discovered and it has become my top 10 "requirements" of motherhood:

10. Motherhood requires limitless hours of selfless service and sleepless nights.

9. Motherhood requires the ability to heal broken hearts without a doctor's degree.

8. Motherhood requires a listening ear even (and especially) when you really "don't want to hear it"!

7. Motherhood requires unwavering committment to a job that we had no idea how to do when we signed up for it.

6. Motherhood requires super-human physical strength and stamina more times than not.

5. Motherhood requires unwavering faith that we are able to raise these precious souls as responsible citizens who will contribute great things to the world.

4. Motherhood requires great faith in our abilities to keep moving forward even when we don't really know which way to turn.

3. Motherhood requires the ability to forgive ourselves and probably more importantly, the ability to forget our past mistakes and move beyond them.

2. Motherhood requires that we remember that we are not alone in this. Hopefully we have a supportive husband who will be there to stand beside us to make us united and stronger, AND always remember that we have a Heavenly Father who is standing right beside us all the time who is supportive and offering us all the strength we need in order to be successful in our efforts.

1. Motherhood requires B.A.L.A.N.C.E.!

Balance is my biggest nemesis. I am working so hard to learn how to apply balance in my life (I'll save that for another post)...I am truly a work in progress!

My sweet family...(2004)
I am no expert on the topic of Motherhood, but I do have lots of experience. I have been a mother more than half my life and I have {almost} loved every moment of it! It has been the most difficult thing I have ever done, but the most rewarding thing I have ever done. The pay-offs are amazing and (at least for me) they are the healers of all of the heartbreaks. And I know that I am never alone.

I have learned the most about motherhood since watching my two daughters become mothers. I watch as they encounter the very same issues I encountered with my own kids. I laugh with them, I cry with them. I admire their strength and unselfish attitudes as they sit up all night with a sick child. I am touched by the tender nurturing they offer on a daily basis. I am amazed at their stamina and energy even when they are exhausted. I am warmed by their unconditional love for the perfect little souls they have brought into this world.

So to all of you AMAZING mothers out there (and YES, you're all amazing) I believe that we are all "great mothers" because everyday we wake up and we do what we need to do. We try our best and we make tons of mistakes...but then we try again and we try to do that makes us all GREAT MOTHERS.


Love Being a Nonny said...

What a fabulous post from a wonderful mom! 71 Toes is one of my favorite blogs too! I understand the need to build a fort around your heart sometimes. I pray that one day those walls are able to come down and that you can walk across the bridge to a WELL son!

Dawnelle Anderson said...

That was beautiful. You are very talented at putting your thoughts into words and writing.

Lynn said...

Great post Mary!!! I couldn't agree with you more.

Patti said...

I love your list of motherhood requirements. :) Great post. Thanks! I love and miss you and your kids.