**I'm sorry this is a day late, but it was MY day yesterday and I relaxed ALLLLLLLLLL day (after church, that is!)
I got this in Church yesterday and thought it was cute so I thought I'd share it with you all.
1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"
2. My mother taught me about RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet!"
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week!"
4. My mother taught me about LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why!"
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're grounded!"
6. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you get into an accident!"
7. My mother taught me about IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about!"
8. My mother taught me about the SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and keep eating!"
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You sit there until all that spinach is gone!"
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"Your room looks like a tornado hit it!"
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"I've told you a million times to stop exaggerating!"
13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of children less fortunate than you who don't have wonderful parents like you!"
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until your father gets home!"
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING:
"You're going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you keep crossing your eyes, they're going to stay that way forever!"
19. My mother taught me about ESP:
"Don't even think about it!"
20. My mother taught me about HUMOR:
"When that lawn mower cuts of your toes, don't come running to me!"
21. My mother taught me about BECOMMING AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat all your vegetables, you'll never grow up!"
22. My mother taught me about GENETICS:
"You're just like your father!"
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Close the door...were you born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me about WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand!"
And my all-time favorite...
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
In a reality, I have a WONDERFUL mother and she never said these things to me...well, maybe one or two, but she's the best! I hope you all had a WONDERFUL Mother's Day and have a blessed week!
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