I have a HUGE confession to make! I have debated whether to blog about this all week but, alas, I feel that I must do it...I have fallen off the proverbial wagon..."Hi, I'm Mary and I'm a sugar.a.holic!
I caved! I have eaten it more than once and feel like such a failure since every other blog I read has a post about the great success people are having by going sugar-free! Not me, I succumbed to the sweet stuff and now I have to start over again. I'm SO disgusted with myself.
See, everything was going so well and I really didn't have that hard of a time getting off of it, BUT, I went to an amazing restaurant up here in Midway and they had the MOST AMAZING dessert bar. This was in a buffet setting and I rationalized to myself that since I had done so well for the preceeding two weeks, it would be OK to "splurge" that night... Then in Phoenix, there was the most delectable Red Velvet Cheesecake (the name is alluring, isn't it??) at the Cheesecake Factory...Oh my...
Almost immediately, each time, I got the most annoying headache and the once-delicious desserts didn't even taste that good. (They really didn't, I was surprised, except the Red Velvet Cheesecake...it was amazing...not gonna lie...). Worse than that, I was racked with guilt! I felt like such a loser :'(
Once I succumbed, I felt like I could "control" it and that to have a small bite of something decadent would be alright, but it's not...It's just not! I rationalized that since I had substantially cut down my intake, I could indulge once-in-a-while...but that's like a heroin addict using just one more time...it just doesn't work that way!
So here's the deal: I either make this commitment or I don't. I either have will-power or I don't. It's all or nothing for me, that's the only way this will work. I know, I know, I know!! So now I'm starting over. I can do this, I know that I can...it's just a matter of "Do I Really Want This??"
Today is a new day and I am ready to face this stupid addiction head on. I have beat myself up and I am ready to move forward. This whole experience has made me so much more aware of how difficult it must really be to give up something like cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. It has changed my perspective on addiction, as I have always sorta, kinda thought I really didn't have an addictive-personality...maybe we are all the addictive-personality type in one way or another to one thing or another...hmmm?
So there you have it...my confession to the blogging world that I was weak and it got out of control...If I do this I can't turn back...not even once! It's sometimes torturous and painful, but I know in my heart that my body needs me to rid itself of the sweet stuff! I felt better for those two weeks and it wasn't that hard...until the buffet!
On a positive note, I have been completely soda free for just over a month now and I have upped my water intake substantially. I drink at least 60 ounces a day and I feel better, I pee better...well, you get the point and seriously, I never thought I could do that. So thank you for being my "support group" and "sponsors" of sorts...I promise I'll try to do better!